My heart is beating, I am still breathing, but why am I so uninspired? I feel like the sun falling off the edge of the world.

ACS Talentime postponed...

IT FAIR is finally over... Phew... I can have good rest at last... The event was kinda like a success... Hard work all these while is worth it ^^

Being informed by Maine in the afternoon that ACS Talentime is on this Thursday and she wanted me to duet with her on that day... LMAO... How can I sing... My sound sucks like hell... I can only try... Whatever happens, I just don't wanna embarrase Maine on that day... Wish me luck on my practice... ^^

*@^&##%@&#&%* !!!

It's now 3.15 am... Not sleeping... My insomnia is getting worst since moving in to this house... Perhaps the house is not the X Factor for my insomnia to worsen... Too many things to think I guess... "IT FAIR" is heading it's way this Friday... It's like lots more to do and I need to catch up with my lesson as well... Can't predict what's happening next... Can just say that this semester is not an easy going semester... Wish me luck guys...

2nd Week of 4th Semester to do list (so far)

• Presentation at week 4
• IT FAIR on 3,4,5 June
• Shift to a new house (today evening)
• Catch up all the lesson that I've missed so far
• Entrepreneurship project

It will be a very busy Semester this time and I can already feel the stress urging from everywhere... Really hope that I could survive this tough life here... Will update when I reach my new house tomorrow... ^^

Result finally out...

Worried of "Prob & Stat" paper (didn't bring calculator during final).... Somehow, I'm glad that I've pass that paper... ^^

Second week of sem break...

Result will be released on Friday, not sure how will it turn out... Hmm, slightly worry... How if my result turn out bad?!? I just can't imagine... Haha, I guess I will just have to be positive for now... Will be back to Melaka anytime... Will update as I reach Melaka... For now, bye folkz...

May 28, 2009/16:48 PM (Duanwu Festival)

Today is a day where family member should gather around and have a dinner (more like reunion dinner during the Chinese New Year)... As usual, my family and all my uncle & auntie will gather in my grandma's house and have an enjoyable dinner & gathering... Somehow, I'm still in Malacca busy putting all the Web Design notes into my brain... This is my first time not joining my family for this gathering... I miss my family, never seen them for months... I miss my fellow cousins, long never hang out with them... I miss my house, with the comfortable bed and air-cond.... I miss my Grandma, long never taste the dishes that she made... I miss BakChang, can only eat once a year but I got no chance to taste it today... And I'm jealous of all my Malaccan friend and those who are celebrating with their family... Somehow, thanks to those who send me greetings through SMS today... I really appreciate it...

I was shocked to death and I just pop up from my sleep... With all the worries in my mind, I'm vigorously looking for the clock to know the time... My worries deepen when I saw that it was already 12.30... Silly me, it's 12.30 in the morning and not afternoon... I though I have miss my paper at 9.00 a.m... All these was so painful for it has happen last semester... Unable to wake up for my final examination and end up retaking that subsequent paper... Everything is okay right now for I did not miss the paper that I will have to sit in the morning... Somehow, this scary nightmare will haunt me forever till the end of my college life...

The clock strike 9.00PM sharp... Need to have my sleep... Not being sleeping well these few days... Exam tomorrow... Nitez folks...

Face it.

You are meant to be alone.

You have tried very hard, but got nowhere.

People you thought are, aren't anymore.

They have turned their backs on you, because to them you are not worthy of attention.

In their eyes you are worthy of use, but worthless as a friend.

There is a purpose for you to be alone. What it is I do not know.

For the time being you are to be alone.

The days to come may prove differently, but that I do not know.

Just know that you are not alone somehow.

Open the eyes of your heart and you shall see.

I really hate it all the time when someone don't know a truth but tend to conclude something totally out of the scale. It's not that they can't conclude. But sometimes, think before they make any conclusion. They have brains, use it. Worst cases after concluding. They tend to tell everyone the conclusion that is merely true.

So you, yeah you. Think before you conclude. You have a brain. Use it!!!

This is what we call art.

Sara Watson, an English art student, turned a car "invisible" with a lovely trompe l'oeil paintjob:


Sara Watson, who is studying drawing at the University of Central Lancashire (Uclan), took three weeks to transform the car's appearance.

She created the illusion in the car park outside her studio at Uclan's Hanover Building in Preston.

The car is now being used for advertising by the local recycling firm that donated the vehicle.

Sometimes, it is such a challenge to be amongst people, knowing that you will never be able to fit in properly. It is like using a rusted key to open its lock, and the key will break anytime.

People are unpredictable and you never know exactly whether they are sincere. Some label you as friend only when things suit their needs. Some you believe are your friends but their mouths are filled with filth about you when you are not around.

At times I find it hard to call someone a friend if I don't trust that person with my life.

Maybe I expect too much out of people, imperfect people like you and me. Maybe that is why I still cannot have what I need (or what I think I need).

Sometimes, isn't it good to be alone when you are facing these situations? People can be most encouraging and loving at one end, but totally destructive at the other.

I guess 'trust' isn't a perfection you should find in people. Trust those who have proven themselves trustworthy to you, but ultimately trust God is all situations because when people might fail you, God never fails.

Who are you?

You're familiar as rain, but I never get to see your rainbows. Somewhere between the drizzle and the falling torrents, there always is a reflection of you I never catch, something solemn, sad, something almost dying.

Why do you close your eyes? All the while I thought you were hiding your eyes from me. But somewhere between the moments of blind love and my opened eyes, I saw that you closed your eyes only to conceal the world which you shut behind those eyelids. Some place you hide in, drifting through and drifting out.

I love you when you smile. When you laugh, I think I hear my own from inside. I love you when we talk about our dreams and when we talk through the night about the night. I love it more when there are those moments when we just stop talking, and then, everything falls into stillness and I know we understand each other.

I love it when you talk about life

School

People

Love

But when you’re still sad, I don’t think I understand you anymore.

I love it when I look into your eyes. When I do, I see me.

Close your eyes, the real world is painted on dark canvas behind shut eyelids.

Numbing. Every pulse sent a shiver to my fingers. They worked adamantly on, while my eyes wandered lost following their movement.

It was nearly finished. My mind was disconnected to every other part but my breathing. It heaved incessantly in rising rhythm.

Every thing else seemed to slow down, even sound. Had I been awake during the strange reverie I was in, I might have chosen to stopped breathing right then, and sleep.

Blink. I let myself stop for that short moment to watch it, finished. I become conscious of my heartbeat, anxious, anticipated, growing steadier at each moment.

And then everything stops. Then it swirls. Then order.

And it is right there.

Nostalgia is a place of meeting. The parts of us which we leave behind through our journey of life, sometimes they die away in our memories. Sometimes they live, and we find them again.

Wouldn’t it be strange to know, all the parts of us that we leave behind.

It wasn’t meant to be like that? But I left a part of me, right here, next to me, right now.

I live between worlds separated by the dreaming, moments where I realise my existence played in a sequence of days.
There are the in betweens, moments when the mind takes over and the senses subside. It is a chasm between two worlds which I find myself falling into. It happens when I close my eyes. Dreams take over. They are my world, my universe.
And then I wake up.
I find myself stand at the edge of a gouge. The waking up has been long. The sun dispels the mist. I am stepping out into a new day, but what awaits me, but what awaits me?
I thought I should excitement from what is ahead of me, in the discovering, in the waking hours.
My worlds keep changing.
And somehow I love my dreaming.
Cause that is the only thing which stays unchangingly the same.

Something inexplicable takes over me. All my thoughts and emotions are drawn into a strange focus, directed at something of incalculable worth and significance so profound which I cannot describe. It is as if all my life I was waiting for this moment, when destiny would seize me, or when destiny would write itself into a song, and sing itself into a melody which I could understand. I stand at the edge of sanity and existence, and contemplate the wonder which I have uncovered. I feel beyond myself with all my soul into a darkness beyond me which I do not understand. And I find myself longing for more.