Simple story but Touched [by AnGa இ Lullaby]

Pencil: I'm sorry Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong. Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

"All my life, I've been the pencil.. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have..." This is to all the parents out there...

One of my favorite song to date... It always lead me to think of those old days in high school and had never fail to put a smile on my face... =)

FriendsForever排排坐

词曲:温力铭

心知己其实悟系好多个

可以了解我 陪我傻 只有得几个

十只手指记得晒 其实悟需要多
真心知己其实需要 一两个

Woo... 我地排排坐
We'll be friend forever
Be there forever
Woo... 我地排排坐
We'll be friend forever
Be there forever

记得读书时。一起背书
一起 进入 体操 比赛 永远都 执输
真无FACES 我地永远悟知 世界有几大
晚晚努力最怕就是系度读历史
一起考试 一起在桥底食 MAMEE
一起追女子 一起计划 我地梦想童话故事

但是 最后 某些各自离开我地梦想就系变成历史
你悟妥我 我悟妥他 他不妥你 甘无知
你又撑我 我又撑你 反反复复的友谊
要经得时间考验同磨练 先至可以
更加STEADY 同坚持. 好够MACHI

我暗恋静宜 你帮我做事
那些肉麻的事你都悟回介意
为我担忧，为我担心，陪我度过最辛苦既失恋时
令我觉得 原来 LIFE WAS'T THAT PITY

Woo... 我地排排坐
We'll be friend forever
Be there forever
Woo... 我地排排坐
We'll be friend forever
Be there forever

大学时，朋友出国读书。离乡背井
心情与兴奋紧张担心
但又好惊一个人 悟识处理事物 最怕 悟够劲.
被人 虾 悟知 要去边度躲
时间慢慢过，我得开始大过。
我走不同个路，走自己走的路
以前细时个梦想都变成 问号

有人进步，有人退步，有人原地踏步。
岁月悟留人，变佐老人吓死人
快快找个伴侣 嫁出去，做个快乐人。
但是望翻转头，怀念一班老死
一起劈酒，一起烂街，一起做贱人。
其实念一念，时间 走佐 永远追悟番
但是 有你们地陪伴过后，什么都值得番
我们友谊无人明白到，伴侣都会甲醋
人生少佐你地都悟知点算好
事实就是事实，无论友谊点变质改变悟到 曾经一起
并肩作战对付敌人的现实
无论发生任何事，请你记得我尼一位

Woo... 我地排排坐
We'll be friend forever
Be there forever
Woo... 我地排排坐
We'll be friend forever
Be there forever..

Life is not being easy on me... Ignore it and I should be ok...

honestly, at this moment in my life, all i can say is,

MY LIFE SUCKS. MLS (cuz i don't wanna say fml cuz that "saying" is making 'fuck' waaaay too casual than it should be. plus i'm not really a person who likes to follow "trends".)

anyway, come on man. everytime smth bad happens, life sucks for a bit. and i say, it's ok, live thru it things will get better. so i raise my patience level. patience level with life i mean. so i'm still normal and not emo on the outside.

and it seems like everytime i do that, before i can even settle my previous problem, another one comes along. like ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

how many times do i have to raise the bloody patience level bar rubbish. this is getting frustrating. how crappy life is becoming.

no it's not easy to always try and look on the bright side of things. and be nice and be polite.

patience is running out.

there's only so high i can raise that bar.

how much you want something, is directly proportional to how much you will sacrifice, how much effort you put in, how much you won't give up.

and it's good to know, that sometimes, when you put a lot, you do end up getting what you want.

u know it's kinda funny, eventhough i tell ppl how badly i'm gonna do in a test, somehow, even when i really do get what i say i'll get, ppl still end up shock.

i guess in some way, (i dunno if it's a malaysian thing or not) we always tend to downplay(?) ourselves? like we tend to say that oh we're gonna fail/we're gonna do badly, but always end up doing pretty well. i'm pretty sure most ppl know someone like that.

and well, being a guy like me, it was always frustrating to hear smth like that. cuz when i say i'm going to get 5/25, i really do get that. and then u got another smart friend who's like, "Crap i'm gonna do so badly" and they end up getting 95% for the test. i used to find that REALLY annoying.

i didn't know why they do it. was it to make the dumb students like me feel better? like oh if the smart guys found it hard, means i'm not alone.


but then now i realise, there's just different standards between us. like smart kid, probably has high standards and expects to do well for the amount of effort he/she put in. so when they work that hard, they want to get that 100%. so when u know how much work u put in, and u don't manage to get that, hence, naturally you would say u do badly.

i mean, that's their standard. to them 95% is bad. and fair enough, for the amount of work they put in, u can't blame them for expecting more right?

so for the guys who don't do so well, we seriously shouldn't complain when someone says they'll do badly, and their badly is amazing to us.

it's probably just cuz of the fact that we have lower standards. and honestly, we shouldn't impose our standards on others. like why make someone set their bad to 50% when they know they have the ability to do well and set their "bad" level to 95%? in some way it's like you're stopping them from achieving their full potential.

as usual, i dunno if i'm making sense. but the point i guess i'm trying to get across is everyone has different standards. so ur friend has set his bad limit at 95%, you can't blame him for wanting to do so well right?


of course, on the other hand, if ur friend says he's going to FAIL, that's a whole different matter when he does (in your eyes) really well. cuz hey, Fail and whatever mark they got is FAR off. to me, that's still just bloody annoying. i mean, fail is like an absolute standard. there's no relative thing to it.

so yeah. that's it. i've learnt not to be frustrated when my friend says they're doing badly but still get an A. cuz hey, that's the standard they have set for themselves.

Yes, This Always Happens To Me

i’m going somewhere, and out of the corner of my eye i see someone.

So i turn and just glance at them. Cause they’re looking at me and I don’t wanna look like i’m staring.

So then i turn back my head to where I’m going. Then, a few seconds later I realise that was a person I’ve met before.

So I turn around to say hi.

BUT, most of the time the person is not looking at me anymore. Why? Clearly since i looked and turned away, it would seem like I don’t remember the person. SO that’s what they think.

So then it goes on that person thinks i don’t remember them. So the next time we walk past each other, I get ignored this time. Cuz hey, why say hi to someone who doesn’t remember you right? If you do, and the person doesn’t say hi back, you end up looking like a weirdo.

AND on top of that, I look like some arrogant guy who doesn’t remember ppl.

GR8.

and also, I have this feeling most people don't remember me. cuz after meeting one time, why would they remember me right? i guess i don't expect ppl to have the same memory to remember ppl like me.

BUT then, my memory aint that good either. like i have a prob remembering ppl's faces and names sometimes. however, this is like, soon after meeting them. so all the more i might ignore them if i walk past them or smth. the retarded thing is, after seeing them like probably 2 or 3 times more, that's when i recognise i've met them. but by then, i already seem like some perasan case who doesn't remember ppl.

it's like i'm made to be antisocial. gr8 la.

lol

i believe this is the time when i can express myself with total transparency, with absolute honesty. maybe its because its late and its the time when im tired. perhaps its similar to being tipsy/drunk but i dont know since ive nvr experienced that. its weird what late nights do to the mind.

Okay. I open my blog almost everyday out of habit, and I'm starting to see random patches of "kulat" forming.

I don't blog much this year, maybe it is because I'm always "busy" with University work (Uh-huh). After giving some thought, I believe the most probable reason why I seldom blog these days is because Facebook is starting to take over.

So yeah, looks like the "kulat" will take over for now...

Hmm...

Yeah.

so im done with internship and my body is all sore. just a shout out saying im alive and am still looking forward things to pick up.

right now im craving

a genuine laugh
a genuine sigh of relief
a genuine shout of victory
a genuine prayer of faith
a genuine conversation with a genuine friend
a genuine heart
a genuine shift towards responsiblity
a genuine smile
a genuine thought, gesture and action.

dear blog,

life throws things at me again and again yet i stumble through each time trying to find a solution. but the solution is always the same. the only solution has always been with me, within me.

this is a post where you get to see me stereotype people i meet in classes or lectures. yes, if you’ve been in a class with me, i’d most probably have stereotyped you in one category or another. yes yes, i do that and all these personalities stick to you, unknowingly, (because you wouldn’t have any clue ive labelled you).

let us start with..

THE I KNOW EVERYTHING BUT IM-OH-SO-KIND
symptoms:
tops everything in class.
sits around in library waiting for people to come over and ask questions about anything whatsoever.
has own unofiicial free “tuition”/”office hours” (in library).

THE I KNOW EVERYTHING AND IM-OH-TOO-GOOD-FOR-YOU
symptoms:
scores absurdly high in whatever exam taken.
comes in late for class/discussion/lecture every single time without fail.
does the crossword puzzle/sudoku in class while waiting for the teacher/professor to end.
answers “i dont know” or “sorry i wasnt paying attention” to anything asked by people around and yawns.

THE I KNOW EVERYTHING AND PROFESSOR-YOURE-OH-SO-WRONG
symptoms:
averages 10 questions per teaching session.
meets up with the teacher/professor after every teaching session to discuss what the teacher/professor could have done better in explaining or made a mistake because idontwantoembaressyouinfrontoftheclass.
tells the professor “could you speed up the class because its so slow”.

THE I KNOW EVERYTHING BUT IM-OH-SO-SHY
symptoms:
scores slightly lower than the top scorer in the particular class (always).
takes notes down on every single mundane detail.
has never opened mouth or uttered a single word or squeaked out a single sound for as long as you would know the person.

THE I DONT KNOW ANYTHING AND THE-WORLD-IS-OH-SO-UNFAIR
symptoms:
scrambles with homework everyday during the class and misses out on what is going on.
comes in late and bag splits open with books spilling out.
bloodshot, panda eyes.
starts complaining and complaining and complaining when you ask “are you okay?”

THE I DONT KNOW ANYTHING BUT IM-OH-SO-SEXY
symptoms:
doesnt know nuts about what is going on in class.
always goes up to the teacher/professor at the end/before of the class and talks about unrelated material. (and giggles a lot)
mysteriously gets all homework done.
always manages an above average in whatever class taken.

THE I DONT KNOW ANYTHING BUT IM-OH-SO-CAREFREE
symptoms:
tries to do things right and always manages to get the average score regardless of the effort put in be it crazy super huge effort or minimal effort.
doesnt mind missing class or homework or office hours because “i have to go to a beer pong match”.
takes typically 7 years to graduate with a degree.

which one are you?

today's thoughts

if i were a kid

when someone does something nice for me, i would be happy and i would like to do something nice in return for that person. from then on we become friends.

if i were a few years older

when someone does something nice to me, it is common courtesy to say thank you and if the chance arises, repay that kindness. from then on, i have to be extra careful because i am in debt.

if i were a kid

when i do stuff with other people and we share even just one single laugh, that laugh is genuine. from then on we become friends.

if i were a few years older

when i hang out with people, we try to share a laugh because we want to make everyone feel comfortable. from then on, i realize its nothing but a relationship on the surface level because we try too hard.

when i was young

i made friends without being politically correct, without keeping a safe distance to evaluate if it was beneficial for myself to have such company, without holding back my grace or care to protect myself from giving too much and receiving nothing in return, and without telling the person this is who i am and i expect you to respect that.

now, a few years later

i wonder how many rules have been set up by myself or by society that dictates what it takes to be a friend, how people now separate acquaintances and friends, friends and close friends, close friends and best friends.

if i were a kid

i wouldn't know any better. and i would love that.

rains, rains, go away; don't dampen me
with those slivering tears
falling from those great blue skies.
and can't the thunder and lightning
stop? so I won't have to wonder what I did.
I liked the light better when it came
with the rays of warmth of the sun
and didn't make my books undone
but if you won't be my sunshine then -
then go away, and come again another day.

This is what LIM KIT SING means :) ... Written by a friend of mine long ago to make me happy...

L -- Lame on MSN ( it's the truth, you asked for it)

I -- I think Charmaine's a very nice girl. (yes, I know that's what you always wanted to say)

M -- Melancholic mood most of the time. ( come on, put on that pinky cheeks I have)


K -- Kesejahteraan sahabat-sahabatnya is his main priority.

I --

T -- Tranquility (forever calm lah you)


S -- Singing partner

I -- Infatuated by his favourite phones. (You change more phones than I change bfs.)

N -- Never said NO to me so far

G -- Get back every weekend, will you??!!!

Why I Do Not Blog Often Nowadays?

Why I Do Not Blog Often Nowadays?

This is a question that brings out one's ability or skill of making excuses. However, even though the reasons are plainly excuses, it doesn't mean that one just makes them up in order to avoid something he enjoys doing - that is writing.

First and foremost, my laziness scale has hit all time sky high in recent weeks, following the everyday scorching hot weather. For this week itself, I have a moral presentation to be done, a case study to be amended after being checked by the lecturer, a beta briefing to attend and houses to visit and inspect.

Now I'm not complaining life is being unfair to me because I had my time but I didn't manage them in such a way that it'll minimise last minute work and stress. However, to get things done at eleventh hour has always been my way of doing things. In fact, for a lot of Malaysians, who're as not organised as I'm, do things this way too - get the task description in week one and start procrastinate until the week of the due date. It's just not Malaysian enough to get things done so early. It probably makes me feel too empty for the rest of the days since everything is already done.

Stupid, right? But stupid is as stupid does. Lol. Anyway, this habit shouldn't stick to us until we're old and almost dead. If all your life, the most that you've done is to procrastinate all the time, then I believe when you're on your deathbed, you might recall the things that you could've done and accomplished should you have not been lazing around and procrastinating.

Or probably you might just want to procrastinate dying then.

Stop procrastination - it kills.

Even in laughter the heart may sorrow,
And the end of mirth may be grief.