Who are you?

You're familiar as rain, but I never get to see your rainbows. Somewhere between the drizzle and the falling torrents, there always is a reflection of you I never catch, something solemn, sad, something almost dying.

Why do you close your eyes? All the while I thought you were hiding your eyes from me. But somewhere between the moments of blind love and my opened eyes, I saw that you closed your eyes only to conceal the world which you shut behind those eyelids. Some place you hide in, drifting through and drifting out.

I love you when you smile. When you laugh, I think I hear my own from inside. I love you when we talk about our dreams and when we talk through the night about the night. I love it more when there are those moments when we just stop talking, and then, everything falls into stillness and I know we understand each other.

I love it when you talk about life

School

People

Love

But when you’re still sad, I don’t think I understand you anymore.

I love it when I look into your eyes. When I do, I see me.

Close your eyes, the real world is painted on dark canvas behind shut eyelids.

Numbing. Every pulse sent a shiver to my fingers. They worked adamantly on, while my eyes wandered lost following their movement.

It was nearly finished. My mind was disconnected to every other part but my breathing. It heaved incessantly in rising rhythm.

Every thing else seemed to slow down, even sound. Had I been awake during the strange reverie I was in, I might have chosen to stopped breathing right then, and sleep.

Blink. I let myself stop for that short moment to watch it, finished. I become conscious of my heartbeat, anxious, anticipated, growing steadier at each moment.

And then everything stops. Then it swirls. Then order.

And it is right there.

Nostalgia is a place of meeting. The parts of us which we leave behind through our journey of life, sometimes they die away in our memories. Sometimes they live, and we find them again.

Wouldn’t it be strange to know, all the parts of us that we leave behind.

It wasn’t meant to be like that? But I left a part of me, right here, next to me, right now.

I live between worlds separated by the dreaming, moments where I realise my existence played in a sequence of days.
There are the in betweens, moments when the mind takes over and the senses subside. It is a chasm between two worlds which I find myself falling into. It happens when I close my eyes. Dreams take over. They are my world, my universe.
And then I wake up.
I find myself stand at the edge of a gouge. The waking up has been long. The sun dispels the mist. I am stepping out into a new day, but what awaits me, but what awaits me?
I thought I should excitement from what is ahead of me, in the discovering, in the waking hours.
My worlds keep changing.
And somehow I love my dreaming.
Cause that is the only thing which stays unchangingly the same.

Something inexplicable takes over me. All my thoughts and emotions are drawn into a strange focus, directed at something of incalculable worth and significance so profound which I cannot describe. It is as if all my life I was waiting for this moment, when destiny would seize me, or when destiny would write itself into a song, and sing itself into a melody which I could understand. I stand at the edge of sanity and existence, and contemplate the wonder which I have uncovered. I feel beyond myself with all my soul into a darkness beyond me which I do not understand. And I find myself longing for more.