Yes, I have been screwing up each and every paper I have for this final examination. I don't know why but I just do. can't explain what i'm going through but I'm. Its hard to pick myself up from the ground and stand again after I went into the exam hall, thinking that I tried my best, but I haven't. I'm pretty useless, you can say. I don't blame anybody else coz I know I didn't do my best for it. I'm struggling in tears as the moment I step out of the hall, i wanted fall flat on the ground and yell for help.

what if i ... fail?
what if i ... drop?
what if i ... can't sustain it?
what if ...

there's too many what if's ...
too many to worry ...
until i don't know where i stand ...
i know i have to trust myself ...
but how? ...
i help others yet i don't know how to help myself ...

i feel horrible, terrible, crappy ...
...
..
.

i'm at point blank.